Blog | myjam

Oct 271 min read

Can I be Floppy ?

It's raining here I'm off in space I'm blobbing I don't want to make sense right here right now Can I be floppy ? Can I be respected...

jcalba

Oct 23 min read

Truth of the Moment : disagreeing

I finally found myself wanting to share about a book a read a few years ago. With my current closest lady friend. A book that I haven't...

jcalba

Mar 2, 20233 min read

Day 13

Sometimes the words come out and then get sucked right back in before they even form full concepts. Sometimes all I want to do is write...

jcalba

Feb 17, 20232 min read

Days 16 15 14

IDEA RIFFING 1/14/23 There is a place / state that strongly limits what I will write and show people. In fact, I'm feeling like comments...

jcalba

Jan 7, 20232 min read

17 days

1/6/23 I can write a poem every day, easy. This straight forward writing is a whole nother thing. Honestly some things, even if I'd like...

jcalba

Jan 2, 20231 min read

18 days

1/2/23 I can't show you what's happening now. It's too tangled, too much shame. Too much realism. I can't even go one step removed...

jcalba

Dec 29, 20223 min read

19 days

12/28 Public Journal Don't lose momentum ! I already let myself stray a bit by skipping three days of journaling. I've been playfully...

jcalba

Dec 23, 20223 min read

20 days

12/21 public journal I just realized something. It's hard for me to admit I like my life, when I'm in a life phase where I'm spending a...

jcalba

Dec 19, 20224 min read

22 days

12/19 Public Journal I saw a friend yesterday and they told me they were feeling weird (this is not verbatim) seeing me because they had...

jcalba

Dec 17, 20222 min read

23 days

12/17 There's still air on the planet. I don't feel like making sense. This is when I would write in poetry. I've rendered myself...

jcalba

Dec 16, 20223 min read

24 days

12/16 Things are getting trickier and trickier with this journal as I become more absorbed in depressive states. I'm weary of being...

jcalba

Dec 13, 20224 min read

25 days

12/13 I have some concepts brewing but I'm not sure what'll come out right now. I was sick today, I laid in bed with cats. I also...

jcalba

Dec 12, 20223 min read

26 days

12/11 Balancing flow and thoroughness. I've been contemplating this a lot. Full go with the flow, let things come to me, I did that...

jcalba

Dec 10, 20222 min read

27 days

12/9 I have my feet up the wall. It's been a favorite body maneuver for a long while, after long days in kitchens, I think is where I...

jcalba

Dec 7, 20224 min read

28 days

12/6 Throughout my life I've experienced at least a few times, someone close to me, stopping spending time with me seemingly abruptly...

jcalba

Dec 5, 20222 min read

30 days

12/5 The in between. I feel like the goo in the middle. I feel like a strong gust of wind. I know the ambient noise is loud. I know that...

jcalba

Dec 4, 20224 min read

31 days

12/4 Today I danced. I was lured back to the Sunday morning ecstatic dance (lured 😂), in honor of Brucie. I cried so much good wholesome...

jcalba

Dec 3, 20221 min read

32 days

12/3 I feel like too much at the moment. It's keeping me from wanting to write out a bunch more about my deepest insecurities and...

jcalba

Dec 3, 20223 min read

32 days

12/2 Today was a foggy day. I multi-snoozed my alarm. The cat tried to annoy me into getting up to let him out and/or tell me it was time...

jcalba

Dec 1, 20224 min read

33 days

12/1 I often feel like there's something I'm missing here. My life doesn't look the way I would think it would given the person I see...

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