1/6/23
I can write a poem every day, easy. This straight forward writing is a whole nother thing. Honestly some things, even if I'd like to speak them, would take so long to explain in order to feel thorough enough. But ultimately that comes down to wanting to give this toneless space the best opportunity in which to be conveyed accurately.
I try to control outcomes. I don't like thinking about people thinking I'm crazy, never have. Or unqualified to be speaking. Unqualified to be trusted I guess. Irrelevant.
I don't want to be considered irrelevant. But I often feel pretty irrelevant so that's funny.
I'm curious.
How unthemed can I be ? What if I decide to temporarily pause my need to avoid the outcome of someone(s) thinking I'm a nutty bird. Batshit.
An IG post saying Facebook is a scary place. Is it really so scary ?
Do I write people off so easily ?
Not judging where you need to be but also judging a thing that is made up of a bunch of people. And by people I mean a bunch of a persons. I mean my cousin Sam, that person, you. Or me for that matter.
But I wanted to believe that person was good to all. Then they went and said some preference that made me question my actions. Hah !
Uncontrollable behaviors. Maybe I was so controlled that *some force* had to literally make some things THAT I DO completely OUT OF MY HANDS. For the hyper vigilant human, in order to achieve the power of the seven, you must just have them do stuff they just simply didn't see coming.
Why did you do that ? You knew you weren't supposed to . . . You previously said you wouldn't . . .
I just had to ! To generate compost.
Is anything ever irreconcilable ?
Googdefinition :
(of ideas, facts, or statements) representing findings or points of view that are so different from each other that they cannot be made compatible.
Cannot be made compatible ?
Compatible : able to exist or occur together without conflict. Without conflict ?!??!??!?!!
Is there such a thing as no war ?
Is permanent peace and unity possible in this lifetime ?
What does it look like for
jubilation
&
horror
To exist harmoniously ?
Conscious horror.
Accepting horror.
Walking the lines, you're always stepping on someone.
This is kind of like a mixture of poetry and straightforward.
A little phone ding and I'm hearkened back to some times I can't even fully remember. Theoretically I have every single memory stored somewhere beyond my working consciousness.
I want to go slow. So so slow. I'm asking myself how can I go slow and still interact with people who want to go faster. Or do I just fall into my own category. A category I couldn't have imagined previously. Will I be a little Rolly Polly just floating across the street ?
Will I still even be able to speak ?
What's the balance of going my own pace, and keeping up with the crowd ?
